Why Daddy Doula? How I Train Dads to be Birth Coaches
I have a feeling I’m going to get this question a lot… Why would a doula create a program training dads to be birth coaches in Salt Lake, Utah?
Well, settle in, ‘cause it’s going to be a bit of a ride!
When I talk to my friends with kids about doulas, I get a few different responses:
Cool, but not for me (understandable).
Oh, my husband/aunt/grandma will be there, so I’ll be fine! (I’ll get more into that in a minute.)
Oh, I would LOVE a doula!!!! But it’s way too pricey for us right now. (Girl, hit me up—I got some budget doula hacks for ya!).
Whenever I hear Response #2, the first thing I think is: “Has he ever been to a birth?” Usually, the answer is no. Most partners haven’t even seen a labor vlog, much less supported someone through the process! Continuous labor support—the key benefit of a doula—only works if your partner can actually provide it.
My First Experience with Labor Support
Some men can do this naturally—going into labor with no prep and supporting their partner flawlessly—but most haven’t. When I was pregnant with my first child, I faced this dilemma.
I initially thought: “Too pricey for a doula” (Response #3). So my solution? My husband would be my doula (Response #2).
I wanted more than someone to hold my hand and say “there, there.” I wanted my husband to be as close to a doula as possible. So, I trained him!
By the second baby, after practicing together throughout the pregnancy, his skills went from a 6/10 to a 9/10. He couldn’t explain interventions or read fetal presentations, but he mastered counterpressure and labor positions—and that was exactly what I needed.
Why a Daddy Doula Program Was Needed
I, like 1 in 5 women, have a history of unwanted sexual contact. During labor, I needed my husband to be my doula because he was the only person I trusted for physical support. Even if I had hired a doula, I wouldn’t have been comfortable with hands-on guidance from someone else. I figured that if that was the case for me, other women who wanted and needed labor support, also may not be comfortable with labor support from a trained doula.
That’s when the Daddy Doula program was born!
The program teaches dads how to:
Do counterpressure and suggest labor positions
Take charge during stressful moments
Advocate for their partner
Be a consistent, supportive companion
Plus, it includes virtual doula support, which is KEY. Even a trained partner isn’t an expert in birth, so having guidance on-call ensures safe and confident decision-making.
Want research to back this up? The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) highlights that continuous labor support—traditionally from trained doulas—can improve birth outcomes, reduce interventions, and increase parental satisfaction. Supporting this, a 2019 randomized trial involving 600 low-risk women demonstrated that teaching labor-support techniques to a partner or family member resulted in shorter labor and higher Apgar scores at both 1 and 5 minutes.
How Daddy Doulas Support Birth
Imagine this: You’re in a hydrotherapy tub, listening to hypnosis tracks, and your partner is rubbing your shoulders and offering coconut water. The doctor comes in and says: “Are you ready to have this baby? Let’s get your water broken.” You’re feeling kinda iffy about it (is it going to hurt? I’m chillin over here, I’m kinda nervous about it ramping things up a little TOO well…)
Your partner turns to you and, as he slides his phone back into his pocket from texting the doula, says:
"All right, babe, the doula said this can decrease labor time by 30 minutes but does increase contraction intensity and risk of infection. We don’t have to do it now, and we don’t have to do it at all—what’s your preference?"
Suddenly, the power is back in your hands. You didn’t have to go chase your OB back into your room. Your feelings of “We should do whatever the doctor says” turned into “This is a suggestion to make our life more convenient, not necessarily safer”. And you have that much more love for the man who took initiative.
Not to mention, as humans, when we panic we tend to forget stuff. So, when he’s flying around the house packing the hospital bag while you’re panting in the kitchen, he (or, let’s be honest here, you) could call your doula and see if it’s even time to go to the hospital yet!
There are countless moments during pregnancy and birth when you might have questions, and having a trained doula gives you the guidance and support you need every step of the way.
Benefits of the Daddy Doula Program
With this program, couples get:
Many of the benefits of a traditional doula
No extra person in the birth room
Continuous physical and emotional support
Expert guidance during high-stress moments
With this in-person training and on-call virtual support from moi (me), you get a LOT of the same benefits of a doula - without having an extra person in your room!
If this sounds fantastic, and you’re in Salt Lake County (or willing to drive), contact me!